East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
