Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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