dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
