It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
