you guys were way drunker than both of me
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
