walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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