If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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