oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
