false alarm. still invincible.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize