that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
