i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
