yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
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