We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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