Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize