ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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