God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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