the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize