forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
