Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize