We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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