I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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