Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
