this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
