I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
