it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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