I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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