The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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