So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
