i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
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the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
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Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"