Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy

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  (810): nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy http://tfl.nu/15i2
  Replies (2) Good night (1253) Bad night (642)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy

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  (614): see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy http://tfl.nu/v81p
  Replies (41) Good night (4682) Bad night (1411)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(

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  (732): the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :( http://tfl.nu/7drn
  Replies (19) Good night (1316) Bad night (6755)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.

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  (314): I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight. http://tfl.nu/vmod
  Replies (23) Good night (5035) Bad night (1047)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.

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  (915): and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house. http://tfl.nu/ztys
  Replies (7) Good night (3643) Bad night (1332)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today

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  (605): You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today http://tfl.nu/jljr
  Replies (4) Good night (2667) Bad night (1127)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.

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  (519): he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today. http://tfl.nu/4qok
  Replies (4) Good night (3416) Bad night (791)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."

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  (978): Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil." http://tfl.nu/0231
  Replies (6) Good night (803) Bad night (2498)
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  (716): View more from New York

  it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.

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  (716): it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours. http://tfl.nu/lt62
  Replies (3) Good night (1719) Bad night (818)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running

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  (775): What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running http://tfl.nu/dwtn
  Replies (7) Good night (579) Bad night (1479)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?

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  (704): Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no? http://tfl.nu/hcll
  Replies (4) Good night (841) Bad night (543)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!

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  (970): My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July! http://tfl.nu/cs3x
  Replies (1) Good night (549) Bad night (376)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex

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  (253): I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex http://tfl.nu/2x7d
  Replies (1) Good night (663) Bad night (389)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Good. The Jell-O shots look great.

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  (563): I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared. (720): Good. The Jell-O shots look great. http://tfl.nu/jppd
  Replies (0) Good night (462) Bad night (232)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.

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  (617): You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you. http://tfl.nu/dr4a
  Replies (0) Good night (610) Bad night (190)

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