How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?