I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion