So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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