if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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