drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
