I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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