Screwed.edu
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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