I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
