Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts

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  (716): i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts http://tfl.nu/g5xn
  Replies (44) Good night (5229) Bad night (1142)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.

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  (301): He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired. http://tfl.nu/1pq9
  Replies (29) Good night (5262) Bad night (1062)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"

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  (404): He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!" http://tfl.nu/kefh
  Replies (16) Good night (5696) Bad night (1006)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.

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  (703): You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason. http://tfl.nu/7b14
  Replies (12) Good night (3791) Bad night (1338)
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  (716): View more from New York

  found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college

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  (716): found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college http://tfl.nu/aqwa
  Replies (2) Good night (3349) Bad night (876)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.

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  (402): Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job. http://tfl.nu/cd1b
  Replies (15) Good night (2605) Bad night (1158)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?

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  (440): vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night? http://tfl.nu/3xi4
  Replies (10) Good night (1059) Bad night (2789)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.

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  (612): i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese. http://tfl.nu/swul
  Replies (4) Good night (1784) Bad night (656)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.

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  (608): I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college. http://tfl.nu/m4t3
  Replies (2) Good night (2124) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I wish I could just hang out in ERs.

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  (503): I wish I could just hang out in ERs. http://tfl.nu/ev60
  Replies (9) Good night (618) Bad night (993)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.

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  (434): High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world. http://tfl.nu/0gxn
  Replies (3) Good night (810) Bad night (503)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.

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  (610): So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house. http://tfl.nu/bt1m
  Replies (16) Good night (1631) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him

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  (306): he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him http://tfl.nu/xwro
  Replies (1) Good night (666) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland

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  (774): Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland http://tfl.nu/km8l
  Replies (1) Good night (432) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.

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  (703): there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners. http://tfl.nu/h528
  Replies (3) Good night (634) Bad night (361)

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