i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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