Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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