Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
