Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
