im about as happy as oj after his trial
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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