they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
