Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
