What did we do last night that was yellow?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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