glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
