if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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