so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize