i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize