Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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