God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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