It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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