Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
