new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
