Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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