***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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