i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
