I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
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I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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