I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
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can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
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Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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