I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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