Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
