Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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