Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i would punch a child for taco bell
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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