So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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