R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
These tits shall not be calmed
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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