I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
